the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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