perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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