My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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