she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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