She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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