the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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