idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
