he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
