wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
