She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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