If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
