I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize