I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
