You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
