In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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