I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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