Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize