You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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