She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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