oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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