Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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