after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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