How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
