Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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