im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
