Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
