woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
