yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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