I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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