Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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