The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
