she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize