I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
