She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
