Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
look no pants
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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