I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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