My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
