After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize