I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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