I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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