i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every concussion has its silver lining
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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