We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
