Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
