umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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