Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize