found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
