So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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