cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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