Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
