he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
