Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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