I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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