Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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