I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
