nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
