happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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